Friday, April 3, 2015

A 5'2" Girl's Goal to Grow

"What you will be in five years depends on two things: the people you meet and the books you read." -Twyla Tharp

The way we perceive time is weird. 

High school felt like a four year sentence that dragged on and on, a bubble I was stuck in with no end in sight until I finally was finished. College is the complete and total opposite. I'm at the half-way point, absolutely terrified because it feels like any minute now I'll be done and I'm not prepared. I'm all too conscious of the fact that there's so much that I should be doing that isn't sitting on my floor watching Disney Channel. There's actually SO MUCH to do ALL THE TIME it can be super overwhelming because no matter what, it feels like I'm not doing enough. My biggest fear is irreparably wasting this time in my life? Which is dumb; why am I spending my time worrying about how I'm spending my time? Wouldn't it be much healthier/less stressful to just...spend my time doing what I want to do? If only it was that simple.

Freshman year I basically did nothing of substance. I dipped my hand into a couple different clubs on campus, but nothing stuck. I enjoyed myself: movie nights with my suitemates, sleeping in my single whenever I felt like it, picnics on the green. But I wasn't productive. I didn't significantly expand my friend group beyond the people I lived with and I didn't develop my resume at all. Meeting people and growing into a professional adult is literally what college is for, so I began to recognize I was doing something wrong. Needless to say, I made some huge changes coming into my Sophomore year and I'm so happy with the results.

Not only am I actively involved in several organizations, I just became president of a super cool club that I'm extremely passionate about? (Generation Action/VOX -- we're advocates for Planned Parenthood, aka the condom queens of campus.) I've made countless new friends, genuinely kind hearted souls that I know will color the rest of my years here with fun and love. I'm developing habitual tendencies and exploring my school's community; I go to poetry night every Tuesday at a local coffee shop -- and I've actually read poetry there...Like, in front of people. For fun. It's different. There are hills to hike, trees to climb, an endless array of new food to eat. I came into 2015 with the goal to really grow as a person, to push myself beyond the average growth that changes everyone with time; new people, new ideas, new experiences. I have definitely dealt with a lot of new in just the past few months, so, yay! Exposure is key, right? Growth!

I'm grateful to have this time in my life where I can broadly explore who I want to be -- I know that it requires certain levels of privilege to have that kind of opportunity. I haven't stopped running since Spring Break but I'm in a really good place, overall. Good days, bad days, I'm figuring it out and I'm really finding my place. 

No comments:

Post a Comment