Friday, January 4, 2013

I don't wanna waaaait

for my liiiiiife to be oooveeerrrr.

Happy New Year!

No one needs another recap of the insanity that was last year, but hot damn 2012 was a rollercoaster. 2012 was the Millenium Force. Up, down, up, down, high highs and low lows. Hopefully 2013 will be all the high positivity of 2012 minus all the low negatives. As far as the last few days of the ending year goes, this year is definitely looking up. Also: I graduate high school this year! Wha-whaaaaaat. And...I move this year. I move INTO COLLEGE. This year. What? I'm pretty positive I know where I'm gonna go, and I'm already accepted, but I'm still applying to another college. Except now that I have the acceptance letter to my top-choice school in hand, it's hard to muster the effort towards another app. But, I will.

All of this application anxiety and general rable-rousing that has come along with senior year has been making me think a lot about the future, which I guess is basically the point. I've always been very bad at living in the moment, unable to refrain from gazing ahead into what might be coming next. I've been workin' on that.

The next 5-10 years are like, THE years, right? These are the years that are looked back on in such a light that make middle age people so nostalgic. Young adulthood. College. So many personality-molding experiences crammed into these years. I'm thoroughly enjoying being 18 so far, but I don't want to look back when I'm 45 at being young and feel sad or regretful that I didn't do enough. That's a lot of pressure that I don't want to feel. I like what I'm doing...but should I be doing more? I mean I could be writing a screenplay and filming terrible movies on my iphone every day. I'm not doing that, but that is what I could be doing other than sitting in my pajamas, milking The Lord of the Rings DVDS for every single minute of extras they have. Doing things more like that would be, arguably, more beneficial to my character, right?...Psh, the knowledge about how they made lotr will totally help me further in life.

All I can really see in my future is college and I'm excited. I'm pumped for the next four years! I've always wanted this college experience. I want to study so much and travel and learn and write and make new friends. The only thing is, at the end of the four years, all I see is...blank? I can't see anything. I literally don't know what happens after college. Obviously down the line I see myself happy with a family and a career and a house, but how did I get there? My grandparents have only been too kind already to remind me of the potential debilitating debt that can come along with college. Thanks, guys!!!1 Love ya. I don't know how I'm going to pay for college, I have no clue what I'm going to do after college, but I'm going to do college. I guess I'll just work everything out as I go.

My mom's on her way home with Chipotle, so this burrito and I are gonna carpe diem it up!

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