Tuesday, July 1, 2014


I am not a sports person, but I do love hype. I watch the Super Bowl every year because, while I know NOTHING about football, who doesn't love an excuse to hang out with friends, eat a ton of food, and yell enthusiastically at a TV, while simultaneously sharing in that experience with most of the country? The World Cup is similar, but I do genuinely enjoy watching soccer when I do. I still know very little about it since I don't keep up with it regularly---though, arguably that's not entirely my fault; as the most popular sport everywhere in the world except America, it's not as easily accessible here. I can blame America's total disinterest in anything that isn't 100% inherently American. Also, my own laziness.

Basically, as a not-very-well-informed fan, this is how I've gathered you can properly Do The World Cup:
  1. Pick a team! Any team! Cheer for them with your entire body and soul!
  2. Choosing to favor neither team is also an option which allows CHEERING FOR EVERYONE AND YOU'RE ALWAYS A WINNER 
  3. LOTS OF YELLING (best part) 
  4. Excited/nervous flailing when anyone gets near the goal post (is that what it's called? what it's called isn't important---how loud you yell is!!!!!)
  5. Don't worry about necessarily understanding the rules behind all the fouls and the cards, just enjoy watching people trip each other--or specifically don't enjoy it: get angry and jump up and down YELLING AT YOUR LIVESTREAM 
Following these guidelines will lead you down a path of blissfully ignorant World Cup-ing! Anyone who knows more than me: feel free to suggest more advice! And remember: Google is your friend.

...Especially for finding each team's hotties pre-match. Like Spain's beautiful, Sergio Ramos: 

And Mexico's, Francisco Rodriguez:

Though, we won't see those faces and bods again this World Cup, America plays later today against Belgium and we have...well, we don't really have anyone. But Belgium has:

 So, while cheering for the United States, at least you can still check out the competition. 

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