Cece in the hood

One of the first stories that we read for my English class this semester was by Brent Staples, titled Just Walk on By: A Black Man Ponders His Power to Alter Public Space. It's an essay about himself as a seemingly intimidating presence just because he is black and walking around at night. He has written two versions of the same situation. In one, he reacts politely, feeling apologetic that he causes fearful reactions, and goes out of his way in attempts to avoid putting himself in a situation where he'd be intimidating. In another, however, he gets angry and takes advantage of this opportunity by going out of his way to seem intimidating. He'd walk directly in between couples, pace beside locked cars at red lights and glare at the people sitting in them, strategically walk so that he could take people by surprise. He says, "They made me terrifying. Now I'd show them how terrifying I could be."

Now, being a tiny white girl from a small suburb of an urban city, this scenario is quite terrifying to me. I would be scared shitless if I got caught at a red light in Cleveland and some intimidating person paced and glared any where near me. I would be damn sure to thunk all my locks down. I'd never actually been in this sort of situation until last Monday night. I went to the Starkid Space Tour with Laney and her friends and it was a blast (even though I lost my voice and have been sick since). When the show was over my throat was in agony and I was willing to do anything to try to get some water. Including walking down the street by myself to check if Jimmy John's was open.

It was 10 pm and Jimmy John's wasn't more than three shops away from the well-populated and brightly lit venue, so I, being all mighty 17-year-old, felt I'd be able to make it just fine. Which, I mean, I did. I'm alive, I didn't die or get injured at all. But I did get pissed off.

I had to pass two older, presumably homeless, black men sitting on a garbage can. Instinctively I kept my eyes forward and my pace fast, ignoring their calls of "Hey there, little lady. How're ya this evening? No need to be rude!" and "Oh, she walks fast. HAHAHAH!" and "AHAHA!"

Was I being rude ignoring them? Was I being racist somehow? Personally, I feel that if you are a large, grown man of any race sitting on a street corner in the middle of the night and you see a young, tiny girl walking alone...you should not talk to her! You should know that, especially in a group of two, that she will feel intimidated by you! Even if they really did mean well and were just looking for someone to talk to and trying to be polite: talk to somebody else. I normally have no problem smiling and saying hello to strangers but not when the closest person is an alley away and most likely distracted. I'm sorry, I am not sorry for not acknowledging you, men on street corner garbage can with a sharpened (walking?) stick.

Jimmy John's was closed, by the way.

Damn, I know how to party.

So, spending my entire night last night marathoning Season 2 of Skins in it's entirity was definitely not my healthiest decision. I drank three cans of cherry coke, cried twice (once because of the show and once because the early morning grey sky outside was just. so. beautiful.), ate half a pizza, and passed out around 10 in the morning. Obviously this is what any normal 16-year-old would do when they get the house to themselves for the weekend.

But mom's home now, and the whole 8 or 9 hours that I've been awake today have been pretty good. Chipotle, Doctor Who, Documentaries on Netflix, and a Middle Eastern carnival. My friend Lena, who moved away in middle school, came back to town tonight for this shindig and even though it ended two hours after she got here, of course I went to see her. She's great and the chilly weather was refreshing and even downright maginificent after spending nearly the whole time there in the Dancing Tent. Middle Eastern music and dancing and I jumped right in. Some dances were more difficult to get into than others, but it was so fun! It definitely burned some calories and therefore I don't have to feel a bit bad about eating so much crap this weekend (although it's not like I would have anyway). Lena acted as a translater whenever they said something that made every laugh or shout. Apparently at one point the man with the microphone made a shout-out to the people over seas protesting, and she says this was a very controversial move. All of the Arabic people I know are in huge favour of it, but I guess most in this area think it's stupid. So, that was new information.

Of course there were obnoxious people from my school there, but there's really nothing else to do in this town, so...I wasn't surprised. What did surprise me, however, was that two girls from our class ran up to Lena to hug her and chat or whatever; their little freshman boifrand-thang and I just kind of stood around for the 30 seconds it took them each to smile and say "Oh mi god!" three times. Then they stopped talking and turned away like they were confused about where they were. "Ha! That was weird..." I said as we walked away, both wearing the same puzzled expression.

"I know, I never even talked to them when I went here..." We just laughed and went to go ogle the Deep Fried Oreos curiously. I went on a couple rides with her and her little sister and as usual there was that weirdness with the person running the ride. You've got that internal debate going on the whole time. Are they a legitimate creeper? Or are they just someone who likes to talk a lot and doesn't have many people to talk to and doesn't realize they're coming off as creepy? I always try to be nice and polite...but there's got to be a line drawn.

I have a lot going on this week and I'm really feeling the love from that Chest Elephant of Stress. Anyone know how to Chemistry?

BEDA Day 21: Sloppy Firsts? More like, Super-Mega-Foxy-Awesome-Hot Firsts.

I first heard about this book series by Megan McCafferty from Hayley's blog, back in 2009. It was just before Perfect Fifth's release so I devoured the entire series, and had my best friend's hooked as well, within weeks. It was love at first chapter, I swear. In no time at all my mother was sick of my ranting and raving about how amazing the writing was. But, mom! It really feels like the diary entry of a teenage girl! That's so cool! I have multiple distinct memories of being in public places, surrounded by friends, reading Charmed Thirds and laughing out loud.

The story is so much more than just a Girl In High School story, or a "coming of age" tale. It's relatable, yet beautifully unique. I'm sure everyone can find something familiar; I know that I can in my dread of school and hatred of the group of peers I've been left with. Of course, Marcus Flutie was easy to fall in love with, too. As a young girl, there's that definite appeal of the bad-boy type--and I've always had a thing for red heads. In the last few months of it still being cool, I decorated my Myspace profile with icons and quotes galore. Watching him grow up with Jess was wonderful. Even if at times it was hard to stomach their troubles, they both turned out all right in the end, and that gives me more hope than anything.

I would recommend this book to everyone. I talked to a shy, freshman girl from my math class last year about books and just knew I had to convince her to give it a read. Passing on this book is so exciting! I think that the life lessons Jessica learns are crucial, and learning them with her instead of on my own was way more fun.

Jessica is my angstier Rory Gilmore. I love her so much and I'm sure I always will; it's been amazing to have her around when i'm feeling generally pissed off at my high school and it's inhabitants. I've re-read the books every year since my discovery, and now as I enter my Junior year of high school I'm as excited to be able to have her with me as I finish this journey as I was to start it with her.

BEDA Day 18 for real because yesterday was day 17.

To calm my conscience, I need to write a clarification. Ahem. Listen up: Bar-b-que sauce will always and forever be my #1 favourite condiment. I don't know how it slipped from my mind the other night, but I feel awful about it. I just had to make this clear. Whoo! Now I can relax.

My grandmother has always sent things over to me that she's some how gotten her hands on--overly large jean jacket things, conditioners, lots of anti-frizz cremes-- and I appreciate the thought, I do, but most of the things just can't be used and take up space, but lately she's taken to sending over fashion magazines. 'Lucky', mostly. I've flipped through them because I do like clothes and I kind of have a thing for Seventeen magazine, so it can be fun. Except, it can also get really annoying. I hate the way these people word things. And the prices! Sweet Jesus, what the hell is that about?

I really, really hate "Runway Fashion", like the shit that's made by famous brands and shown off in like, Paris and places of the like: I hate it. The majority of the time it's all butt freaking ugly, and so damn expensive. It's absurd. I can't believe how much of a waste of money this stuff is! Does anyone ever actually buy any of these ginormous, odd-shaped dresses covered in feathers and car parts, or whatever? Nobody would be able to wear something like that anywhere to do anything! How do they make so much money?! Why is it such a big deal to people and models and Tyra Banks? I get it that it's like art and to each their own; i'm not saying I have a problem with you if you don't agree with me. I'm just saying I do not understand the appeal one bit. And it's annoying. But you're not annoying! I love you. I love clothes. I hate ridiculously high prices and the people who place them.

BEDA Day 18: I'm a piece of bread! Stick me in a toaster!

I've just stopped myself from doing something I could potentially be embarrassed about for the rest of my life and remembered to blog before falling asleep! Go me!

I started watching Weeds today and I kind of love it so far. In one of the episodes, though, Toast, from the Mary-Kate and Ashley Olsen movie Sweet 16 edition, made an appearance. So, of course, I came upstairs to go to bed and popped in my good, old VHS, Getting There. Toast has so many good lines that I am going to use. I quoted this movie before I ever actually quoted movies. My best friend's best friend from growing up's nickname was actually Toast. Like, before I knew them, this movie was a connection for us and I think that's cool. When I first met them and they all called her Toast and we all realized we were all not only white, young girls growing up in the early 21st century, we also all watched Mary Kate and Ashley movies?! Total bonding moment. There are a lot of similarities between Toast and her, though I see a lot between Toast and me, too.

toasttoasttoasttoasttoast

I spent Monday night with the same group in said best friend's backyard around a fire, roasting marshmellows, making what they call "doughboys", eating four cardboard pizzas, and generally laughing off all the calories from the food, but i'm paying for all that fun now. Even though I sprayed copious amounts of big spray, I have literally got 23 mosquito bites; I counted. They're all ginormous now because I have poor self-control. I look like I have the plague. And I know what that looks like! I watched a very long, awesome History Channel documentary about the Middle Ages on Netflix last night!

Oh! And a few minutes ago, just slightly after stopping myself from being stupid, I was hit with another wave of Post Potter Depression while reminiscing about everything and the future.

It's my last week of SuMmEr 2o11 beeyotches!!!!!!!!!! party.

BEDA Day 13: The blog that was on fire

SO MUCH HAS HAPPENED IN MY LIFE TODAY.

I broke my princess pen, I did laundry for the first time in far too long, I did the dishes, and agreed to give my friend a ride home from work in the middle of the night. So, that's what I was doing at midnight and that's why i'm writing now and not at 11:59 like usual. I am a good friend, guys. Sacrificing properly blogging on time to help someone out.

So, I got some things done on my list! You know, a few house-cleany type things that I should do more often for myself anyway; still, a dent is a dent. Words of wisdom, right?

Lex awarded me the Blog on Fire award, which was lovely of her and it really does remind me of The Hunger Games, which is an awesome bonus. Apparently I don't have to list five things about myself, but I like talking about me, so I will anyway.

1. I am actually allergic to the sun. Which makes quoting certain lines from She's the Man fun and factual, and it's a great excuse for my lazy ass to not be in Marching Band anymore.

2. I would do almost anything for Mcdonald's dollar sweet tea.

3. I tried to give up pop for my new year's resolution and that worked for months, but man, when I get back on that carbonation truck I get back on it good. I won't even tell you how much soda I went through in just two weeks. But because I drank so much in such a short amount of time, there's none left in my house and I haven't drank any in a while again.

4. My dad is a cell phone.

5. I have a pretty fantastic long-term memory, but a really horrible short-term memory.

Woohoo! Five facts about me again! Yeah! Now it's bed time.

I pass this award most honourable onto:

Abby

Laney

BEDA Day Nine: CHICKENS

I was too in doubt and went to the right place, Laney. She told me to write about chickens and here we are. About to travel down the path of chickens together. (That word always looks weird to me, like ugly and misspelled.)

Chickens, or as Wikipedia calls them gallus gallus domesticus, are awesome and delicious. I really like cold chicken leftovers from KFC with bar-be-que sauce. Actually, any sort of chicken with bar-be-que sauce is my favourite. Chickens are pretty cool living too, though! Which is an accomplishment for them. They're a sub-species of Red Junglefowl which could possibly make a good band name.

Apparently they were first domesticated for cockfighting and not for egg and meat producing. That's interesting, and Wikipedia has never been wrong before. People have always had their priorities straight then, haven't they? Huh, here I thought it was just us. Go cockfighting! Or something...I think...What's cockfighting?

The thing on top of a Rooster's head is called a comb?! That's funny. I like that.

This is cute, right?:

I think it is. He's just wild, in his environment, wonderin' the grass and such. Adorable! Look at his eyes! I mean, there's no way I could beat Laney's penguin waddle gif, so I can't even try. This is cute.

Ooh, there's a Murray McMurray Hatchery! Hatchery is a great word, so hatchery's are probably a good place, right? It's a Headquarters! That's an important word! AND IN IOWA! Aren't I-States the best?! I think I've heard that somewhere. Let's road trip to Murry McMurrays!

Chickens are good.

BEDA Day Eight: I'm not very good at throwing in change. Or catching it. Pretty much just picking it up off the floor.

There's some huge things going on, and I figured I'd throw my two cents in.

The London riots are horrifying. I can't believe it's still going on. Young, angry people have taken a situation and exploded it, turning it into a chance to steal Wii's and X-Boxs. Innocent people are terrified for their lives, trying to hide in their homes and businesses, only to have those being burnt to the ground. I have the BBC news stream open and it's truly shaking to see all of this happen. Like, this is actually happening. This is the wrong way to go about accomplishing anything; this is pure destruction just for the sake of destruction. People are dying, lives are being destroyed, for utterly no reason at all. Who knows when all of these people will decide that they're done doing this? I mean, do they really expect they'll just be able to go home and play their Playstations after having just burnt down half the neighborhood? How can they live with themselves?

Why is it so difficult to be nice? Why can't people just help each other as human beings? All of this shit seriously needs to stop. I don't know what to do about it, but something good needs to be done. That's the mob-mentality, though, isn't it? Once they get the violence down in one area, another area goes up into flames. All of the people that I know of over there aren't in any of the targeted areas, but I can't even imagine the worry and concern of everyone there and here.

My thoughts and prayers are with anyone affected. <3

How to be a super lazy person.

There are many key points to being a lazy person, and it has taken me all day to get to the computer and open this tab to compile them. This is doing lazy correctly. I have succeeded; I am a lazy person.

1. Don't do anything. Nothing. For a long time.

2. Sit a lot.

3. Even better, lay a lot.

4. Sleep. A LOT.

5. Don't put on clothes or do laundry.

6. Eat, but nothing that requires effort. Cereal right out of the box is good.

I think that's it.

Here you have it, folks who desire to be lazy. Stop being productive and having fun and doing things with your life! Just stop and do nothing. Woohoo laziness!

A look into the diaries and notebooks of Cece.

So, I didn't blog yesterday, does anyone really care? I don't.

I was going through all my stacks upon stacks of binders and notebooks and folders and whatnot piled up around my bedroom, trying to take inventory and figure out what I need for another year of hell. What I found, of course, was unsurprising and entertaining. Lots of different notebooks of all different sizes filled with writing. Lists, random words/thoughts, paragraphs of nonsense, documentations of middle-school life around notes on the crusades and vocabulary words. It's a lot of fun to read through things like this, it's why i've always liked writing in a diary, and now blogging. I'm sure in a couple years having this around to read could be really awesome---you know, if I ever actually start writing about things.

I have these two small, blue notebooks that I absolutely love even though they're horribly embarrassing. The smallest one is from 6th grade. It's pages are covered in Harry Potter fanfiction (something I've stopped doing) and the lyrics of songs changed to be funnier for me and my friends (something I've done multiple times this week). It's hilarious and did I mention embarrassing? Oh God, the writing's bad. The other, larger, brighter blue notebook is one I just bought last year, so it's got the more recent ramblings. The first page is a picture of a toilet drawn by my friend and a couple quotes from AVPM surrounded by notes for NaNoWriMo and such. A lot of the notebook is nanowrimo writings and songs and other related things. This was what I carried around at school and where I wrote anything that came to me during the time I was in class, not learning.

I remember for my 6th birthday my mom got me a Little Mermaid diary. It was the cutest thing ever. I didn't really write in it for a few years. I mean, partially because I really didn't write much yet, and partially because I was busy playing and such. The first few pages are my mom listing some of my favourite things for me (We were on vacation at the beach, so, Young Cece Favourites, Beach Edition: 1. The water or sand 2. water slides 3. swimming 4. crab hunting. And then in my own large, messy, pink handwriting: Corn, Sloppy Joes, Candy. I'm pretty sure i've always loved food as much as I do now. Also, corn. Yeah. Cornchord 4 lyfe.) and she wrote about what I thought of my first day of school for me and adorable stuff like that. Then I practiced uppercase J's for a few pages, outlined my hand, drew a heart and a smiley face, and mentioned how good kissing bodyguard was and how much I like dresses. Ha, no, but I did just draw a bunch of shapes and practiced words and math and that kind of thing for a while...Oh sweet Jesus. I also went on to write little songs, poems, and plays when I was like, 9; ohhhh my God, I am crying from laughing so hard. This is all pretty embarrassing stuff. I think i've shared enough, though...

Nostalgia can be fun. I'm really glad that words exist.

The count:

About 20 notebooks, most about half-filled.

Five binders.

Seven folders.

I got tagged! (That's the c00l way to title these things, right?)

Victoria (http://wonderfulworldofvictoria.blogspot.com/) was nominated for a blogging award that she so deserves, and after listing 7 random facts about her, she tagged me to do the same! So here it goes.

1. I never really grew out of that little kid watch-the-same-movie-over-and-over-and-over thing. If I really like a movie, I could watch it all day.

2. Most of the things that come out of my mouth are a reference to something.

3. I could literally eat nine Chipotle burritos every day.

4. I'm one of those people you see in class nodding their head around and mouthing the words of the song they're listening to on their ipods. Yeah, that's me.

5. I want to travel the world more than anything else.

6. In the shower I mostly sing Rent songs, which I got into at the age of, like, 12 because my friends discovered La Vie Boheme and we would sit around and giggle at the dirty words. (That's like, two things about me in one!)

7. Learning new things is something I genuinely love, but school has become something I loathe. Isn't that sad?

Am I supposed to also tag people? Well, whatever, I am. I tag:

Freya, FreyaFlobster's Funky Thoughts

Hannah Marie, Scarlett Sparks

Jen in the Purple Pants

Nicole, The Assorted Thoughts of a Scatter-Brain

Lex, The Lexical Gap

Bridget Kelly, Engima No More

It's the last official day of BEDA and yet I still say nothing and post a lot of pictures.

I shouldn't even be blogging now, but with all the work I have to do that's due on Monday, how could I resist putting it off even longer? That's the excuse i'm using for why I didn't blog the past two days, school work. Lots of it. It's the last month of school, I figure it's about time to put forth some real effort. And there goes my real effort into writing comments on friends' pictures and writing one line at a time in my story; which, around naps ranging from 10 to 45 minutes in length, has taken up my entire day.

The major assignment is for Biology and I have to do a sort of mock-interview with a Bacteria, a Protist, a Virus, a Fungi, and a Plant. I have to come up with 10 questions, of course 10 answers, and I have to film it. Well, I don't have to film it, but i'd really like to. That way I wouldn't have to get up in front of class to present, i'd just play the video. The only thing I will have to do either way is convince someone to help me out and play the various parts of interviewees. Something that's proving to be quite difficult.

That picture up there is of the dye that's still on my hands, they looked a lot brighter in different shades of colour yesterday and the day before, but it's all coming off quite quickly. Around my fingernails is the place I think it'll last the longest. It's from tie-dyeing in an art class i'm taking. Plastic gloves? Ha! I laugh in the face of plastic gloves. The metaphorical face of plastic gloves...yeah. I think it's prettier this way :)

I've got a pink bunny floating in my coffee now. It's amazing how fast boxes of Peeps can go when you can put them in your coffee and have an easily manipulated mother who's only two big brown eyes away from feeding one or two to the dog.

Today was a beautiful, amazing, spectacular day. (No, that's not sarcasm you detect.)

You know why? Oh, come on, you know why! The new Harry Potter trailer came out!!! Harry Potter and it's fandom just puts me in such a good mood, there are no words. Well, I guess there are some.

My day was genuinely good, but the real excitement kicked in around 5 in the evening when I paused the movie I was watching (Suburban Girl with Sarah Michelle Gellar and Alec Baldwin. It was OK...it's still on pause) to watch a video someone posted on Tumblr. It was one of those overall Harry Potter videos set to a sad, completely fitting song that makes you want to cry. And, oh boy, did I cry. I was balling my eyes out by 20 seconds into the video and continued to do so in my bed even after the 4 and a half minutes were up. It was such a beautiful video, and I haven't really cried in a long time, and I love Harry Potter so much...I just couldn't help myself. My mom calls up to make sure i'm OK and I explain that i'm just being emotional over HP again and i'll probably be down again in an hour.

Wrong. I didn't go back downstairs for another two hours when my laptop was practically screaming for it's charger and I was literally screaming about everything else. It was after that moment I talked to my mom, while I was casually scrolling through my dashboard, when I say the words "OMFG THAT TRAILER" above a bunch of Harry Potter gifs i'd never seen before...

Now, I'm not good at math by any means, but I can definitely add two and two together and know that the answer means it's time to flip a shit. (FOR POSSIBLY ONE OF THE LAST TIMES OMG I'M STILL NOT OK ASKHFDSJKHGFDJKH.) I searched and flailed until I found it and said flailing couldn't be stopped until maybe 10 minutes ago. It was originally in French, but I couldn't've cared less, though of course brilliant people have now found and released the English version as well.

I don't know how many times i've watched it tonight, but...I just can't get over this whole fandom. I'm always in love with Harry Potter and everyone who loves it/him, but there are these times when I just get these happy butterflies in my chest and I just know they're your fault, you bitches. <3

I'm gonna go finish writing in the margins of my vocabulary book how each of the words relate to HP in an exercise to help memorize them and hopefully get a few more laughs out of myself.

Yay it's almost May! I'm excited for so many reasons!

Huckleberry Finn and friends

I was in the middle of not procrastinating and actually doing what I should be for school tomorrow, when I realized, why the heck was I doing that? I need to write a blog post. Just need to. Right now. SO, instead of procrastinating from doing this any longer, i'll put off doing homework. Wah-hoo!

I'm reading Adeventures of Huckleberry Finn right now for English. We've just started it so I only have to read up to chapter 6, and seeing as that's page 17, and i'm on page 3, it shouldn't be that difficult to get through. The only problem is that i'd like to read the Sparknotes also. That's right, also. I'm livid with my English teacher and the only way I can really stick it to him is by aceing everything. Right? See. I'm a total badass.

On page 2 Huck says, "All I wanted was to go somewheres; all I wanted was a change, I warn't particular." Boy, do I relate, man. I mean, he was referring to hell--'the bad place'--but I'd ecstatically settle for a new school. A new state'd be awesome. A new country would blow my mind. I'm just really feeling a change. Maybe a not a big one, yet...but changes would be good. I should make pro-con lists!

Or, you know, a different kind of list.

Name: Cecilia, Cece, Celia, i'll occasionally answer to "Hey you!" under the circumstances.

Favorite Fandom: Harry Potter! Doctor Who's a close second.

Favorite Ship: ...Hermione/Ron. Rose/Nine & Ten. Jim/Pam. I could literally go on and on. They're all my favourite!

Favorite Color: Orange.

Favorite Movie: Easy A, as of right now. Blades of Glory. Inception. I have a lot of favourites.

Where you live: Ohio.

Favorite Book: I'm re-reading the Jessica Darling series and I LOVE it. So, that and Harry Potter. I recently bought Twenty Boy Summer, too, that was really good and made me cry.

Clothing Store: Um...I have no idea. Most clothes recently have been bought online or in a thrift store. I do like some American Eagle cute things.

Favorite Band: Flight of the Conchords and Mindless Self Indulgence.

Favorite Artist: Is it lame to same Van Gogh or Monet? I went to an online famous artists gallery and the pictures I liked the most were by them.

Favorite Food: Chipotle and basically anything mexican or fake mexican.

Favorite T.V. Show: Doctor Who, Arrested Development, Gilmore Girls.

If you're reading this, leave a comment and answer the questions, too! I found it as a 'let's make friends' sort of thing, so, let's make friends. :)

Science says I need this continuation for my sanity.

The article within the article I read about in that medical magazine in the doctor's office that I never actually got to yesterday because I was too distracted by Taylor Swift, was titled: Write On! Why Putting Pen To Paper Is Good For You. This caught my eye immediately, so, good job writer Louise Chang. Surrounded by reminiscent T-Swift quotes referring to her childhood and how writing songs about her emotions has gotten her through so much, Louise Chang goes on to discuss scientific studies that have proven journaling is beneficial to your health. While the jury is still out on science, I have to believe this is true.

Chang says that everyone has "traumatic experiences" and organizing your thoughts on them will help you physically and mentally. While I like to ignore my whole, big, completely insignificant mess that has been my entire 2011 up to this point, perhaps I should be talking about it more. The thought has come to me, but even my diary/journal/whatever seems like too embarrassing of a place now that i'm not 12 anymore.

I mean, in those days (elementary through all of middle school) I filled, like, four entire diary/journal/whatevers with my rantings and ramblings. This did help some then, but taking into account that (even if only slightly...) I should be more mature and emotionally stable now, writing to "process my emotions" should only help more now, right?

The short article went on to say that this method is especially recommended for people under a lot of stress, suffering from trauma, and/or having trouble sleeping. Well, it worked for the fictional Jessica Darling...With the help of a sexy red head, of course.

I think I do want to write narcissistically more often again (I mean, private narcissistic stuff...to myself...about myself. Instead of this thing I do every day.) but I also attempted to do a 365 day picture project that went downhill after barely a month.

Anyone reading this doing BEDA feel better after blogging so much?

Popular topic I recently discovered proof of for myself.

I've always liked Seventeen magazine. To me, it seemed like one of the only magazines that didn't get too crazy about appearance and come off all judgemental and...mean. But the March issue I just got (I had unsubscribed, but recently resubscribed because of a sweet deal) blares the headline: GET NATURALLY PRETTY! Silky Hair And Flawless Skin With Zero Effort! Now, this is annoying because each word is capitalized and that's just unnecessary. Also, excuse me? My skin isn't flawless, but I'm still pretty--actually, naturally pretty, thank you very much.

Ways To Look Cute NOW! Spring Must-Haves! I totally look cute in my sweats and t-shirt. I don't need you dictating what is cute and what isn't, Seventeen magazine. I have no desire to buy anything you tell me I must-have. The May issue, however, exclaims that it knows the ways to GET PRETTY FOR SUMMER! Pft. Right beside, LOOK HOT IN A BIKINI Get Flat Abs and A Cute Butt Now! They're all about NOW, aren't they? Flat abs and a cute butt? Is that how you look attractive? That's ridiculous. The cover girl of this issue is Emma Roberts and the headline beneath her name is "The Flirting Trick That Gets The Best Guys" though that exact trick is never actually stated (yeah, I looked. I'm paying for it :-p) I some how don't think it gets her the best guys. But... I guess she might.

I don't know if Seventeen got really shallow in the past year or so, or if I changed somehow. Like, they've always been this...girly teen magazine, I just never noticed completely. I mean, there wasn't anything that bad on the April issue, so, who knows.

I do have to say some articles on the inside still hold my interest in a shallow sort of way.

I'm a boyfriend-stealing whore with a good feeling.

I wake up, as happy as a seven year old in a private, Catholic school surrounded by judgemental, hypocritical, heinous people of all ages can be. I'm reminded it's a dress down day! I don't have to put on the ugly uniform! I'm more excited than ever as I get dressed in tiny, hipless jeans and happily add the accessory that proves i've always been stylish: One of those beaded fishnet-ish looking waist wrap tie things. I loved it, and I wore it because I was awesome. I get to school --and after a blank in my memory--I go to the computer lab with my class (which must have been first thing in the morning) and immediately get attacked by a mini-real housewife. "You look like a whore!" She exclaims in a whisper, dirty blonde hair straight as a pin. "Are you trying to steal my boyfriend? You are, aren't you!?" Bitchily Corridor (unclever play on her name--I can't say it! I mean, what if she finds this blog! Could you IMAGINE the horror? Is my SARCASM thick, enough? It's hard to tell online. I'm obnoxious.) continues, taking in my "Shakira"-esque wrap. After that I can't remember a thing other than her storming away in a huff. I don't remember how I reacted. I know I didn't take it off, so I must've just laughed or been utterly confused. I'm still confused. What the hell? I mean, yes, I did have a small, second grad crush on the guy who she talked to in class and who gave her a teddy bear on Valentine's Day--her "boyfriend"--but how would I plan on stealing him away with my use of accessories? Mm, that school was a crazy experience.

I wore that wrap again today, though, which is why this lovely memory came back to me. It was actually someone at school today that called me Shakira because of the piece...I guess it could look something like she'd wear. At least I always wear pants underneath! He didn't mean it as an insult, though. I think he likes Shakira! I actually spent a while looking at pictures of her to see if I could find one of her in something similar, but I couldn't. I didn't want to show one that kind of resembled it, but was sluttier. It isn't a slutty waist wrap! I wouldn't want anyone here to get the wrong idea.

Today has been a really good day. I'm not exactly sure why; it just has a good feel to it.